May 2013
9 posts
I think circuit training class looks like the harlem shake.
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I’m glad the video has been well-received and I didn’t say anything too stupid in it. I wasn’t going to do the filming at first, but my friend Izzy convinced me that I should.
Before I started derby I searched online for hours, trying to find some sign that there could be a place for a hijab-wearing, extremely sober and overall odd person like me in the sport.
I did the video...
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Sarah Moola - Young, British and Muslim →
Sarah Moola is the only Muslim girl in the UK who competes in roller derby. Despite its reputation as an aggressive contact sport with women wearing raunchy costumes, Sarah adores roller derby and insists it does not clash with her religious beliefs. When she was meeting prospective husbands with her parents, Sarah was careful to choose someone who would be happy to let her pursue her love of...
a rollergirl without a forum is like a pirate without a ship
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I’ve thought of a great new skate out.
Now I just need to complete my transfer, go to practice, make attendance and improve enough to get rostered to a team so I can show it off.
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I requested a skater reference from the Blitz Dames to give to the Dolly Rockits in order to help them group me, and this is what I got.
Daphne is a good player in a strange sort of way. She has many interesting takes on the game of roller derby. She has excellent hand writing and her spelling is of a high standard. Given enough cake, she has the potential to become the most serious...
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April 2013
7 posts
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post fitness class routine
Pretend to stretch while gasping for breath
Being extremely suggestible due to dehydration, buy pre-made, post-exercises meal as you leave.
Walk home.
Get lost due to dehydration.
Keep walking and realise you weren’t lost at all but the road just seemed longer.
Get home and drink entire bottle of water that you filled and forgot to take.
Shower.
Try to eat post-fitness meal.
...
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kicking and boxing and exorcising
I’ve never really been to a gym. I couldn’t afford it, and the gyms in my area were limited anyway. There were the manly men gym for being manly, the gym for older ladies who want to stay active with the grandkids, and the expensive chain gyms for busy people with lots of money. Since I fall into none of those categories, my fitness regime has been limited to what I can do at home.
...
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It’s been six weeks since I strapped my skates on for my last practice with the Birmingham Blitz Dames, and today I went to my first practice with Leicester’s Dolly Rockit Rollers.
The Blitz Dames have a good relationship with the Dollies and they frequently visited for scrims and bouts, so when I realised I would have to switch teams, I was relieved that I wouldn’t be skating...
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The Secret Life of Hijabis
Curious friends often ask me questions about the hijab. They’re interested to know my motivations and day to day difficulties. Sometimes people have seen an ambitious headscarf creation and want to know how it was achieved. Unfortunately, that’s a little bit like asking someone how a Marie-Antionette standard coiffure was produced on the basis that they too have hair. I don’t...
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Bye Bye Dames
I didn’t start roller derby to make friends. Really, I didn’t imagine there would be a space for me in the sport or the culture. I didn’t really think anyone involved in roller derby would want to know me.
My first impression of the Birmingham Blitz Dames, when I stumbled into their first practice, was that these women were vivacious, confident and dedicated to their sport and...
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in roller derby culture, “you look clean” is generally meant as a sincere compliment.
March 2013
6 posts
1 tag
Daphne Should Know Better than to Leave Herself...
As such, Daphne would like to say that RosaLui is a lovely person and a lovely friend and even wears shoes and appropriately modest tops when Daphne tells her to, and that even though sometimes Daphne leaves her alone to get bored on the computer, Daphne is quite aware of just how lucky she is.
Daphne also would like to announce that sometimes she looks like a turtle, and that RosaLui never looks...
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just got back from practice and I can’t find my mouthguard.
that’s what I get for taking it out of my mouth and putting it straight in my pocket.
vthebookworm asked: Asalaamu alaikam! My name is Vanessa and I am a Muslim convert who plays roller derby. It's awesome to see another Muslim woman play! Masha'Allah!
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we did a lot of laps last night and today my legs kind of hurt.
it’s hard to believe that for the longest time, for two days after each practice, everything hurt.
February 2013
11 posts
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no matter what i do
no matter how hard i try
the knuckle of my right thumb will never not smell of padstink
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where’s my mouthguard?
oh. there it is. in my pocket, where i shoved in at the end of last week’s practice.
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something else that can ruin a training session
daphnedoesderby
- not cutting your toe nails - poor underwear decisions
- cutting your toe nails too much
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does anyone else have a reoccurring dream where you get to practice and you’ve forgotten your mouthguard?
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that strange satisfaction when you realise the blister on your right instep has stopped fighting you and quietly become a callus.
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how to deal with stuff
generally roller derby is like a road trip with a group of your friends through beautiful scenery with some awesome stops along the way.
But then there are also a few less awesome bits, like flat tires and icy roads and you have to deal with those as well.
advice:
1. take it as well as you can and set an example
2. take a lesson from the experience, if you can
3. remember why you’re...
“We have constantly misunderstood what “modesty” truly means. It means the...”
– Osama — Party Til Fajr (via arabarabarab)
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January 2013
8 posts
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things that can ruin a training session
- not cutting your toe nails - poor underwear decisions
bonding with the newbies
me: my meal's really good. do you want to try some?
newbie: no, I'm scared of you.
me: oh... is that why you went all quiet?
newbie: yeah
me: ...I just thought you were shy.
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why we shouldn't stand up for roller derby
Every now and then, the derbysphere explodes because someone makes a dig at roller derby. I’m normally the one making snide remarks and trying to act cool about it, but secretly WRITHING IN FURY. I reckon I react so badly because roller derby is kinda my best friend and I’d never sit back and let someone smack talk my best friend.
People generally fall into two categories....
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I really don’t like sock derby, because when you take the skates away, it just feels like fighting.
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“you throw like a rollerboy”
– Rex Tangle, after watching me toss someone the pivot panty
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From twelve o’clock to three thirty, Penny Block and I parked ourselves in the the first table of Woktastic and gorged on good food, excellent conversation and a glass jug full of steaming green tea.
Afterwards I found a quiet corner of Victoria Square to lay my portable prayer mat for evening prayers. Even though my toes went numb the arctic conditions, I felt grateful for the beautiful...
December 2012
1 post
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me: I'm trying not to be that person that's always shouting stupid things.
Nico: why? it's funny.
November 2012
21 posts
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DerbyLife Writing Contest →
This is your last chance to vote! You can check out my submission here.
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My Trip To The Physio
“Can you go up on your tip toes on your left ankle?” the physio asks during my assessment.
“Well, yeah. Because I hurt my right ankle,” I say helpfully. This is a private physio by the way. He gives me cheaper rates, but I’m guessing this might be because I’m his guinea pig.
“Oh yes, sorry.” I go up on my tip toes on my other ankle and this is...
Startle: Christmas - last orders! →
startle-derby:
Righto, please place last orders for Christmas by Tuesday.
I must also warn you that custom prices will be going up next year fairly considerably to cover the time things take - but there will be a better range of semi custom items to choose from which should mean you can still get a really good…
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Up Close and Personal With the CaiRollers →
Maybe I can pick up some boutfit tips…
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thisisjesska:
Yes, I do think Roller Derby is the most vulgar sport a girl can do, and yes, I´ve watched it: A bunch of girls dressed like sluts going in circles like a flock of cows, trying to bump into each other.
Oh my god. ‘Going round in circles’????
The track is an oval. Get it right.
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http://www.derbysocial.com/ →
Derby Social is now open for sign ups! By the time I worked out how to do invites, inviting was obsolete… technology just moves too fast for me to keep up.
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So Saturday, I and my ankle decided to take on Penny Block, who is probably the best blocker in my entire league. Halfway through, my ankle was like, ‘pfft this gig sucks’ and bailed on me.
That left me sitting on the bleachers with my ankle propped up, wearing a loaned ankle warmer and watching videos of cats adopting bunny rabbits.
I feel very zen about the whole thing. Maybe...
