Daphne Does Derby

a silver ring thing

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 13:13:14 +0100

Izzy Dauntless, who is a bit good (sort of) at making jewellery, has made this beautiful ring for me.

It was quite a struggle for her, because I measured my ring size wrong (twice) and so it had to be adjusted (twice), but now it fits perfectly.

It’s engraved to say ‘Daphne du Gorier BBD’ in perfect, tiny letters.

I love it so much that I now suffer from absurd anxiety that it will grow too wide and fall off my finger and into the toilet, or the silver defy chemistry to react with something in my moisturiser.

Everytime Izzy gave me the adjusted ring, I would say ‘but Izzy, what about Mags?’ insinuating the humourous suggestion that Izzy was proposing and I was concerned for the feelings of her husband. Izzy had to be prompted to laugh each time, even though I clearly explained the joke to her.

If you’re interested in getting a ring of your own, orders can be taken at our bouts or you can contact Izzy directly.

pennyblogs: Daphne does lying on my floor. LAST TIME I COME...

Wed, 30 May 2012 22:17:13 +0100

pennyblogs:

Daphne does lying on my floor.

LAST TIME I COME OVER AND LIE ON YOUR FLOOR, PENNY BLOCK.

Inspiration: Chiselled Abs and Leotards

Wed, 30 May 2012 12:16:53 +0100

You know when it’s 8.30 AM and you can’t break the morning lethargy enough to put on your trainers and go for a run?

Here are some videos to kickstart the adrenaline and get you in the mood!

Whip It Trailer

Not only is it a vital tool it getting people to understand how cool derby is, the Whip It trailer fits the coolness of roller derby to a quirky soundtrack. The only downside is those Americans and their derrrrbeee.

Stick It Trailer

Though an unremarkable film, the sight of Missy Peregrym’s chiselled abs and perfect muscle control - or at least, that of her stunt double - will whip you into a haze of body envy that can only end in handstand press-ups. Hey, if gymnasts can do it, we can too!

Roller Derby Workout DVD Trailer

Even if you haven’t gotten around to actually buying the workout, the trailer should provide some inspiration. With co-ordinated outfits and moves that put syncronised swimmers to shame, the Heart Attacks make working out an art form.

Fast Girls Trailer

Women running really fast and being awesome. Though it suggests that the UK only has five actors this one is my current favourite. The plot is very similar to my real life situation.

As an aside, Lenora Crichlow looks really good in glasses!

The London Rollergirls Get Physical

Aside from the sheer hilarity of this video, LRG demonstrate some pretty cool athletic feats while modelling a colourful array of headbands, leotards and serious workout expressions.

Any other suggestions?

Brown Rice and Pushy Girlfriends

Tue, 29 May 2012 22:03:00 +0100

“You should eat brown rice,” said our coach yesterday.

What nonsense, was my first thought. Brown rice? Who does he think I am? Some sort of healthy eating, sensible person? Some kind of…athlete?

Rewind 18 months, right at the conception of my roller derby career. I was torn between the desire to strap on some skates and be part of this vibrant, incredible culture, and terrified by the idea of commitment. Everything I heard about roller derby pointed to the same thing: you might start for fun, but pretty soon it takes over your entire life.

I’ll just keep it casual, was my mantra when I went to my first session. I’ll just go once a week to keep fit and skate a bit. I won’t worry about getting new equipment or bouting or boot camps.

But as so many of us know, that’s not the nature of the beast. One practice becomes two, you’re seduced by the promise of new wheels and suddenly the unthinkable happens: you start doing exercise outside of derby.

Roller derby is probably the only sport resembling such a slippery slope. It’s probably the only thing resembling such a slippery slope outside of hard drugs. At the bottom of the slope, is brown rice.

So now I’m an athlete, or something. I feel like I’ve been tricked. This wasn’t supposed to be about commitment. I’m like a playboy that finds that my latest fling has cleared out two drawers for her things and has marked on the calendar when we’re going to lunch with her mother.

The solution is to stop. To throw my girlfriend’s clothes out the window. To sell my wheels on ebay. To eat bowl upon bowl of starchy, over-processed white rice.

But it just wouldn’t work. Like it or not, playing derby casually just isn’t enough for me anymore. The girlfriend - with her subtle trickery and black magic - has won. Now I can’t imagine my life without her.

And since I can’t get rid of her, I might as well work on making our relationship even more awesome. Might as well give the whole set of drawers and make the best thing that’s happened to me become the best thing ever, because if I’ve learned anything during my time with roller derby, it’s that what you put in is what you get out.

I’ll start by switching to brown rice.

me: I wouldn't quit derby for a man, even if we were married

Sat, 26 May 2012 16:20:40 +0100

me: I wouldn't quit derby for a man, even if we were married
izzy: of course not!
shomi: (entering the conversation) right!
izzy: do you know what we're talking about?
shomi: powdered glass in the porridge

I’m not the only one that thinks like this, right?

Sat, 26 May 2012 00:07:34 +0100

I’m not the only one that thinks like this, right?

Photo

Mon, 21 May 2012 18:15:47 +0100

Me: Who's going to write up the Hot Wheels Bout?

Fri, 18 May 2012 13:08:28 +0100

Me: Who's going to write up the Hot Wheels Bout?
Nico: You are. I don't care if you're not there. It's your job.

Whoa! Here’s a Real Life Post about my Actual Real Life! My exams are over! Thank goodness,...

Wed, 16 May 2012 23:23:00 +0100

Whoa! Here’s a Real Life Post about my Actual Real Life!

My exams are over! Thank goodness, because I rely on eleventh hour fear to motivate me to study, and that’s tough to maintain over a period of time.

I woke up at nine, spend a little while lying sad in bed and trying to delay the inevitable. The morning was devoted to going through the material and cursing my past self for not learning it when I had the time, as is my wont. I took a break to scare off a cat that was trying to get at the fledglings in our bird house.

Before I left, I made a great peanut butter and jam sandwich, and when I was wrapping it up to take it with me, I realised the bread was mouldy. I was so upset I left it out on the counter so my mum could share my pain.

I did some last minute cramming before the exam, and when I went in I kept having panics. What was I doing there? I didn’t know anything! How could this have happened. Was this the real life, or just the fantasy? Like, a lame, not-fantasy fantasy.

The exam was well boring. I had to go to the bathroom, and you know the invigilator takes you to the bathroom and stands outside the stall. Creepy.

After the exam I went to see Penny Block. I gave her a pineapple and lay on her floor for a while. We had some lols.

At home, my mum thanked me for making her a sandwich. She’d been really hungry when she got home, she said.

Tomorrow it’s time to clean my room and get rid of all my notes and papers! Just graduation left. I’m meeting my Japanese teacher on Friday, so I have to watch a lot of anime before that to improve my speaking skills.

NOW WHAT?

mehreenkasana: mehreenkasana: Muslim Doodles by Mehreen...

Wed, 16 May 2012 22:07:00 +0100

mehreenkasana:

mehreenkasana:

Muslim Doodles by Mehreen Kasana

That’s me. While I understand these doodles don’t represent all the problems Muslims face in this age, I thought I’d start off with a few commonly occurring ones. e.g. The pseudo-liberating complex often shoved in front of Muslim women, the ridiculous misconception folks have that all Muslim women wear body coverings like the burqa, niqab, hijab, etc. Of being called “terrorists” by bigots, of putting up with it on a frequent basis. Of having to answer the irritating question pertaining to why some of us choose to cover our bodies. This is the first part. More to come. (Because ignorance thrives in today’s world.)

All this with a dash of my humor. Be well, folks.

Thanks for sharing, y’all.

I don’t have any problem with people asking me questions, and I’ve never really gotten anyone being rude or judgemental, but this is pretty funny.

be-like-the-squirrel: I love when someone asks me “so how do...

Tue, 01 May 2012 23:03:41 +0100

be-like-the-squirrel:

I love when someone asks me “so how do you…PLAY…roller derby?” and because I’m sitting at a desk with no spare paper around, I make things like THIS.

OVALS DON’T DO THE TRACK JUSTICE.

yeah, no, this is how it works.

This should be my new banner. By hawketc.

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:38:21 +0100

This should be my new banner. By hawketc.

How to Know Whether Someone Hates You

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 17:18:35 +0100

If someone hates you, they will leave you messages on your mobile answerphone. That is how you will know. They’ve left you a message and now you have no choice but to waste money calling up your answerphone service and retrieving the message which was no doubt something like ‘sorry, I couldn’t get through to you! I’ll call back another time.’

WELL, ACTUALLY, I COULD TELL THAT FROM THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A MISSED CALL.

Some people are fooled into thinking that the person doesn’t hate them, but just wanted to leave them a message. If they wanted to leave you a message, they would have texted you. Or emailed you, it’s all going to the same place.

On the flip side, the best way to passive-aggressively get back at someone is to leave them answerphone messages. No matter what, curiousity will win out and they will end up picking up the message, to their detriment.

No need to thank me for the advice.

DAPHNE OUT.

Photo by Ara McBay

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 18:01:56 +0100

Photo by Ara McBay

themindislimitless: Emirati figure skater Zahra Lari performs...

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:05:27 +0100

themindislimitless:

Emirati figure skater Zahra Lari performs during the European Cup, on April 12, in Canazei, northern Italy. The 17-year-old not only became the first figure skater from the Gulf to compete in an international competition but the first to do so wearing the hijab, an Islamic headscarf. [Source]

Birmingham Blitz Dames vs Rainy City Rollergirls

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 00:22:08 +0100

Back by popular demand, the Blitz Dames Bus was once again called upon to carry the travel team and entourage across the land to their next away game. The bus loaded up in the centre of Birmingham and the Dames set off to Oldham, Manchester, for their bout with Rainy City Roller Girls.

The coach journey is one of my favourite times. I try to see the Dames outside of practice, but I never spend as much time with them as I want. The two hours was spent with much larks and cake. Even the people who ignore the conversation and pretend to hate everyone on the bus with them secretly enjoy it.

The Thunderdome, home of RCRG was like no other venue I’d been to. Miles away from the blue sports court of the Dames’ training venue, it more resembled Toronto’s Bunker. With a sort of derelict charm, the Thunderdome made for a more intimate event, with many people sitting on carpets and cushions in the suicide seats. That was maybe good, because it was freezing in there and spectators had to huddle together for warmth. Whether this was a marketing technique designed for optimum hot chocolate sales from the RCRG tuck shop was uncertain.

The bout itself was impressive. The Rainy City jammers had fantastic agility and the blockers kept the walls tightly. The home team also had several strong hitters, and first hand reports say that falling against the Thunderdome’s concrete floor was a world of pain, though I’m glad to say serious injury was avoided.

Though RCRG took an early lead which they sustained, seasoned Dames jammers Suzette la Flamme and Nina Nunchucks snuck in points here and there. (Nico Warrior also jammed, but she pointed out recently that she skates really low and it makes her look like a gorilla. I was so struck by how true this was today that I found it hard to keep track of how many points she got.) Finally, a great powerjam by Violet Attack ended the game on a high note, despite the score 51-217 to Rainy City.

Since I wanted to skip the after party and go home early, I’d hoped to catch a lift with a couple of Dames that had driven up. Apparently, about four different people were concerned about me getting home and asked the driving Dames if I could ride with them. This is about ninety percent touching and ten percent funny. I really should have asked myself, but as is always the way, I’d gone out to get some chips and when I got back, the game was about to start.

“I was a bit surprised you came today,” Thunderkat said as she drove me home.

“Really? Why?”

“I’d have thought you’d have something better to do on your birthday.”

“Like what?”

I’m sure I can’t think of anything.

Thunderkat Is Better Than J2O

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:13:00 +0100

My review of Utopia didn’t go down very well.

Thunderkat posted on my facebook wall:

So I just read your write up of our lunch. The highlights are that you don’t like mixing with 20 something suit types (I am one) and that you “probably wouldn’t go again” I feel like a boy who thought their date went well, only to be told by her friend that she is now seeing other people

Actually, I’d like to point out that I wrote that weeks ago, and she only read it yesterday, so if anyone has let down our friendship it is her.

Regardless, please see my amended review below.

Last week I went with Thunderkat to Utopia, a fancifully named place chosen primarily because it was really close to Kat’s work and she’s ~~lazy~~ skilled in time management like that.

~~Calling it ‘Utopia’ is a bit of an exaggeration~~. It was a cosy, classy place, full of sandwiches were served on breadboards. I’m not sure why.

I ordered a plate of tacos which were ~~pretty~~ extremely okay. The wedges were good though I was unable to concentrate on my food, since Kat’s conversation was so witty, engaging, and altogether charming.

The bill was okay, about £6-12 for a main and £4 for a starter, plus drinks. The food wasn’t really enough to make you mega full, but good for a light lunch and no price is to high to spend some time in Kat’s company and I would gladly have spent two or three times as much for the honour.

The main negative was how closely placed all the tables were, and since it was full, the noise made hearing Kat’s beautiful voice difficult. Plus, I don’t like twenty-something, suit-types unless they are Kat, who I adore beyond reason, although I have many justified reasons.

I ~~probably wouldn’t go again~~ would go anywhere just to bask in Kat’s sublime presence. In fact, I can’t remember what this was about, because I got distracted thinking about how wonderful Thunderkat is, and reliving this time she hit me really hard and I fell over it and was all beautiful.

The glove does help, since none of your hand is...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 21:51:00 +0100

The glove does help, since none of your hand is exposed.

Here’s a picture of me wearing the thing. It’s still kind of damp, so I’m sacrificing for you here.

Additionally, the front splint protrudes outwards, so when you fall, that’s what hits the ground first. I’ve taken some pictures to better illustrate.

Here you can see the protrudey bit quite well. Because of this, when you fall it hits the ground first.

And then obviously you can go flat like that. Makes doing press-ups a bit difficult. Not that I can do press-ups in the first place.

Hope that was helpful! I definitely recommend them, and when these wear out, I’ll get more of the same. I especially hope people have enjoyed seeing my lounge floor and that bit of the door. Fascinating!

p.s. I am not getting paid by triple eight for this, and that in itself is a crime.

Splish Splosh

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 20:52:51 +0100

Being very small and wearing a lot of clothes, my derby pads don’t get very sweaty, so I’ve never had to worry about yucky pads.

However, my hired hand wristguards, though excellent protection, are letting down the side. They are a glove style that is quite tight, so no room to wear something absorbent underneath.

I decided to wash them.

BUT HOW. They’re made of leather and suede, so cannot be tossed into a pillowcase and washing machine’d. The internet had all sorts of opinions, and said to use various different products. To this end, I have created a playful cocktail of agents to ensure maximum cleanage.

-bicarbonate of soda

-vinegar

-shampoo

-hot water

-washing up liquid

-cold water

-liquid soap

Having combined these together in a bucket, I left my wristguards in it for an hour, stirring periodically with a butter knife. The water turned a concerning black colour, but I figured it couldn’t be any worse than the time I dropped my wristguard in a sink full of water and then had to wear it for a bout. That was the worst.

I left them to dry stuffed with paper towels, and they look no worse for wear. Apparently I should rub aqueous cream into the leather to keep it supple, which seems mentaloid, but I have a lot of aqueous cream lying around, so why not.

Daphne’s Opinion:

as expected, combining several cleaning products only makes things cleaner. will write to the newspapers immediately.

Daphne: What do you think?

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:20:21 +0100

Daphne: What do you think?
Nico: This must remain a secret.
Daphne: OKAY.

Daphne: (But it's okay to post it on my blog, right?)
Nico: (No.)